I'm in predicament as to how and advise my other half, who just this past weekend experienced her first PDGA event, and probably had the worst time of anyone I can ever remember. It saddens me, as she was about as excited as anyone I can remember, just going on and on for the week leading up to it. I helped her with some of the basics to understand/know, to help her thru her game. She has a pretty fair grasp for someone who is relatively new to the game overall, and has walked with me in different events over the past year as well. I just had no idea she would be playing with a couple/three people who in my determination, basically made things go the way they wanted it to go.
What has perplexed me over the last couple of days, is how to let her know how she should have handled it, as she was seriously on the verge of not ever playing in a tournament again, especially if that's what she had to look forward to.
Here's the deal. Now mind you, I haven't heard the other parties in the group's story about this, but, I think I know who I'm engaged to. After the first round, she advised me that she was on the verge of tears. She was on a card of five, and 3 of the girls/women on her card were giving her, as I learned later, false "rulings" as to how long she was taking during her drives, questioning her on every score she gave them, even after walking them back thru each and every score, not letting her keep score, letting her SEE the score, and just flat out being rude.
I now realize that she should have gone to the TD, and discussed what was happening, to find out how to proceed going forward. I also should note, she was quite upset after the first round, and only gave up only some of the things that were bothering her like "I don't want to talk about it"...etc.. therefore, I just let her know to ask them if they want to time her on her time allotted, walk them thru her throws so that there hopefully wouldn't be any confusion as to what you threw, etc.. that kind of thing.
I guess you could say that this was the first time I had ever been in a position like this, and had no idea that in a women's intermediate division, she would EVER get worked to that extent, especially being essentially new to the sport, much less tournament play, and not really being supportive at all.
I'm just at a loss for words as to how and describe my confusion, much less how to have truly explained to her what she probably should have done. It's not like she wanted to get in to a bout of "he said/she said", and have a TD try to make a determination on that, but, in a nutshell, I'm at a loss.
From what I can determine that she told me happened, they were ensuring themselves of at least one of them cashing, staying ahead of others they didn't know, pencil whipping (yeah, I'm thinking that, at least from what I saw their scores at....couldn't swear to it obviously, but it reeks of it big time), and just overall taking "sandbagging" to a whole new level.
Like I say, she was the most excited I had seen her in some time, and to have an experience like that....It truly saddens me that she would have it go to h$ll on her like that, and actually questioning whether or not to keep playing. Excited to humiliated is not how a newcomer should be treated. AT ALL!! PERIOD
I guess you could say I'm venting this out, and I'm looking for some insight as to how this probably should have gone down. Yeah, there were some things I could have probably done better in explaining, but....well, you get the idea. I can handle a lot of things in a tournament, but, this was a first for me.
Oh, and while I'm no Jack Lowe in writing my thoughts, I hope this was readable.