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Messages - Kevin Montgomery

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2311
General Banter / Let's hear some jokes KC!
« on: July 19, 2005, 11:47:01 PM »
A woman decides to have a facelift for her birthday.
She spends $5000.00 and feels pretty good about
the results. On her way home she stops at a
newsstand to buy a paper. Before leaving, she
asks the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind my
asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 32," the clerk replies. "I'm actually 47," the
woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and upon
getting her order, asks the counter girl the same
question. She replies, "I'd guess about 29." The
woman replies, "Nope I am 47."

Now she is feeling really good about herself. While
waiting for the bus home, she asks an old man the
same question. He replies, "I'm 78 and my eyesight
is starting to go. Although, when I was young, there
was a sure way to tell how old a woman was, but it
requires you letting me put my hands up your shirt
and feel your boobs. Then I can tell exactly how old
you are."

They waited in silence on the empty street until
curiosity got the best of the woman and she finally
says, "Well, what the hell, go ahead."

The old man slips both hands up her shirt, under
her bra, and begins to feel around.

After a couple of minutes she says, "Okay, Okay,
how old am I?"

He removes his hands and says, "You are 47."

Stunned the woman says, "That's amazing! How
did you know?"

The old man replied, "I was behind you in line at
McDonald's."

2312
Beginners / Beginner's Glow Round
« on: July 19, 2005, 01:11:12 PM »
There will be a glow league starting this fall at Water Works on Thursday evenings. League starts the week after summer leagues end and continues until the week before summer leagues begin. They tee off at 6:00pm.

2313
Tournaments / Scores
« on: July 18, 2005, 11:53:10 AM »
Here are the final scores for the City of Fountains Classic:


Name   Division   Rnd 1    Rnd 2    Final    
Alexey    Bubis   Open Men   47   62   109
Chris   Sprague   Open Men   47   62   109
Eric   McCabe   Open Men   50   67   117
George   Smith   Open Men   51   68   119
Jamie   Barry   Open Men   50   70   120
Mike    Murphy   Open Men   51   70   121
Kevin   Corbett   Open Men   53   69   122
Beckett    Carduff   Open Men   56   69   125
Brad    Merys   Open Men   58   75   133
               
               
LeRon   Harris   Pro Masters   51   64   115
Mark   Martin   Pro Masters   51   65   116
Bryan   Guthrie   Pro Masters   54   68   122
Tracy    Walker   Pro Masters   56   69   125
Bruce    Hudson   Pro Masters   55   DNF   55
               
Angela   Tschiggfrie   Open Women   57   74   131
Tavish   Sanders   Open Women   59   83   142
Linda   Arbeitman   Open Women   60   84   144
               
               
Jake   Bowen   Adv Men   51   64   115
Leo   Deprato III   Adv Men   51   64   115
Hans   Coleman   Adv Men   51   70   121
Fred    Smith   Adv Men   52   69   121
Kelly   Genzel   Adv Men   54   72   126
Dennis    Reaves   Adv Men   60   69   129
Ben   Taylor   Adv Men   56   74   130
Demian   Vela   Adv Men   55   76   131
Dick    Parker   Adv Men   57   74   131
Quentin    Street   Adv Men   59   74   133
Bob   Strausas   Adv Men   64   73   137
Dirk   Hacker   Adv Men   60   80   140
               
               
Annie   Humphrey   Adv Women   72   28   100
Angela   Plitsch   Adv Women   71   30   101
Becky   Stebbins   Adv Women   88   32   120
               
               
Brant   Pfister   Adv Masters   55   72   127
Mark   Morales   Adv Masters   55   76   131
Bruce   McQueen   Adv Masters   58   79   137
David   Wise   Adv Masters   61   DNF   DNF
               
               
Don   Grinnell   Int Men   66   82   148
David   Hudson   Int Men   61   90   151
Tom   Thompson   Int Men   63   89   152
Charlie   Bauersfeld   Int Men   64   DNF   DNF

2314
General Banter / Let's hear some jokes KC!
« on: July 15, 2005, 03:36:59 PM »

2315
General Banter / Let's hear some jokes KC!
« on: July 15, 2005, 10:47:47 AM »
A good looking biker stops by the Harley shop to
have his bike fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited,
so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.

On the way home, he stopped at the hardware store
and bought a bucket and an anvil. Next, he stopped
by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens
and a goose. However, he now had a problem, how
to carry all of his purchases home.

The owner said, "Put the anvil in the bucket, carry the
bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and
carry the goose in your other hand."

"Hey, thanks!" the biker said, and out the door he went.

In the parking lot, he was approached by a little old lady
who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me
how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?"

The biker said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 1616
Mockingbird Lane. Let's take my short cut and go down
this alley. We'll be there in no time."

The little old lady looked him over cautiously, then said,
"I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me.
How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't
hold me against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?"

The biker said, "Holy smokes, Lady! I'm carrying a bucket,
an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world
could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"

The lady said, "Well... Set the goose down, cover him with
the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I'll hold
the chickens."

2316
General Banter / What's in your Bag?
« on: July 14, 2005, 05:02:49 PM »
Quote from: "Schoen-hopper"
I carry 27 discs.


You can break your response up into several replies in that case....    :lol:

2317
Blue Valley / Course Map and Scorecards with Pars
« on: July 12, 2005, 11:16:16 AM »
Here are links to a course map you can print out and to scorecards that have pars listed for each hole and a smaller map.

http://kcfdc.org/images/BVPtourney05laout.jpg

http://kcfdc.org/images/BVP18scorecard05.pdf

2318
Tournaments / 10th Annual Hell On The Border Ft Smith AR
« on: July 08, 2005, 11:54:25 AM »
Google maps says it's just shy of 300 miles and almost 7 hours. That's a ways....  probably wouldn't take nearly that long.

I'll be driving to Hays for the Frontier Open the week before so probably won't be able to make the investment in this one. Sounds like fun though.

2319
Tournaments / H2Open still on?
« on: July 06, 2005, 07:22:28 PM »
The H2Open has been postponed - Officially. There may be a doubles tourney later in the year with this title out at WW. For info contact RR at DGW.

2320
General Banter / Favorite Course
« on: July 06, 2005, 05:02:43 PM »
23rd and Topping, KCMO

2321
General Banter / Favorite Course
« on: July 06, 2005, 04:21:34 PM »
Yes. There is already a 9 hole junior course in the ground there and work is progressing on an 18 hoel championship, (monster) course. There is a work day there this weekend. Check out the note under the Blue Valley course topic to find out more.

2322
Found and Lost / Found Keys at WyCo
« on: July 06, 2005, 03:09:54 PM »
I found a set of keys on a little black rubber ducky key ring right after the Wide Open. I forgot all about posting this until just now. If these are yours just let me know.

2323
General Banter / Favorite Course
« on: July 06, 2005, 03:07:27 PM »
The poll feature has been used for some other things but not much.

I had to vote for my home course. I may not like my scores at WyCo but I like to play it.

2324
General Banter / CE-JLS's Hmm...
« on: July 05, 2005, 03:43:15 PM »
I think the folks on Ebay were just saying it was "brand new" as in never thrown before. The discs they are selling are actually old and were from a limited run of 2000 that was produced years ago. That's why they want so much for them. They appear to be a collectors item.

2325
General Banter / CE-JLS's Hmm...
« on: July 05, 2005, 03:31:30 PM »
JLS is a common disc from Millenium. They are a separate company from Innova. They make the Omega Super Soft, QMS, QJLS, etc...  If you like the JLS it comes in regular plastic, which for Millenium means pro plastic and also in the Q plastic which is like the CE stuff. What you saw on Ebay was a special run back when the JLS first hit the market. If you want a CE JLS save your money and just drop $13 or $15 on a QJLS.

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