Author Topic: Newcomer's first PDGA experience gone wrong.....  (Read 2991 times)

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tallguy007kc

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Newcomer's first PDGA experience gone wrong.....
« on: February 02, 2015, 12:28:14 PM »
I'm in predicament as to how and advise my other half, who just this past weekend experienced her first PDGA event, and probably had the worst time of anyone I can ever remember.  It saddens me, as she was about as excited as anyone I can remember, just going on and on for the week leading up to it.  I helped her with some of the basics to understand/know, to help her thru her game.  She has a pretty fair grasp for someone who is relatively new to the game overall, and has walked with me in different events over the past year as well.  I just had no idea she would be playing with a couple/three people who in my determination, basically made things go the way they wanted it to go.

What has perplexed me over the last couple of days, is how to let her know how she should have handled it, as she was seriously on the verge of not ever playing in a tournament again, especially if that's what she had to look forward to. 

Here's the deal.  Now mind you, I haven't heard the other parties in the group's story about this, but, I think I know who I'm engaged to.  After the first round, she advised me that she was on the verge of tears.  She was on a card of five, and 3 of the girls/women on her card were giving her, as I learned later, false "rulings" as to how long she was taking during her drives, questioning her on every score she gave them, even after walking them back thru each and every score, not letting her keep score, letting her SEE the score, and just flat out being rude.

I now realize that she should have gone to the TD, and discussed what was happening, to find out how to proceed going forward.  I also should note, she was quite upset after the first round, and only gave up only some of the things that were bothering her like "I don't want to talk about it"...etc..  therefore, I just let her know to ask them if they want to time her on her time allotted, walk them thru her throws so that there hopefully wouldn't be any confusion as to what you threw, etc.. that kind of thing.

I guess you could say that this was the first time I had ever been in a position like this, and had no idea that in a women's intermediate division, she would EVER get worked to that extent, especially being essentially new to the sport, much less tournament play, and not really being supportive at all.

I'm just at a loss for words as to how and describe my confusion, much less how to have truly explained to her what she probably should have done.  It's not like she wanted to get in to a bout of "he said/she said", and have a TD try to make a determination on that, but, in a nutshell, I'm at a loss.

From what I can determine that she told me happened, they were ensuring themselves of at least one of them cashing, staying ahead of others they didn't know, pencil whipping (yeah, I'm thinking that, at least from what I saw their scores at....couldn't swear to it obviously, but it reeks of it big time), and just overall taking "sandbagging" to a whole new level.

Like I say, she was the most excited I had seen her in some time, and to have an experience like that....It truly saddens me that she would have it go to h$ll on her like that, and actually questioning whether or not to keep playing.  Excited to humiliated is not how a newcomer should be treated.  AT ALL!!  PERIOD

I guess you could say I'm venting this out, and I'm looking for some insight as to how this probably should have gone down.  Yeah, there were some things I could have probably done better in explaining, but....well, you get the idea.  I can handle a lot of things in a tournament, but, this was a first for me.

Thanks,

Oh, and while I'm no Jack Lowe in writing my thoughts, I hope this was readable.  ;D
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Re: Newcomer's first PDGA experience gone wrong.....
« Reply #1 on: February 02, 2015, 02:15:54 PM »
Well it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who these individuals are but first and foremost please inform her that it shouldn't be like this the next time. Hopefully she will have a better grasp on how to handle the situation next time. She definitely should have approached the TD between rounds and expressed her concerns. I ran a tournament once and was informed afterwards how the men acted a treated a woman that was on their card. I apologized profusely and said it would NEVER happen again as long as I'm aware of the situation. I'm pretty sure I even brought it up to the individuals that were still there but it's been so long ago I don't actually remember. There is absolutely no need for this nor should it be tolerated. Please tell her to give it another chance and hopefully you're not playing in Texas next time when she does.  ;)

Crispian

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Re: Newcomer's first PDGA experience gone wrong.....
« Reply #2 on: February 02, 2015, 02:35:22 PM »
I am so sorry that she had this experience. I've only played in a couple of tournaments and in women's league but I find women to be very supportive of one another in general. It sounds like she may have been a victim of a good old girls club and bullying as well as some group think. Was this in the Kansas City area? I have not had this experience with women in Kansas City. There have been a couple times where I knew someone had miscounted their throws and I gently will ask them "are you sure?" I have also been with women who I know are new to league or tournament who have done things like foot fault or violations such as not putting down a marker and again I gently say "hey its no big deal but just so you know..." I would encourage her to keep at it. It sounds like she was the victim of some jerks.
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tallguy007kc

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Re: Newcomer's first PDGA experience gone wrong.....
« Reply #3 on: February 02, 2015, 03:15:44 PM »
Yeah, this was in the Dallas area.  Bet ya' can't figure out which one that was...lol  I let her know that that's just not the norm, and they were in it for the plastic, good 'ole boy style.  I asked her if they were doing the "Are you sure?", but she assured me it was more of a "No.  You didn't shoot that.  You took a 7 there..."  that kind of thing.  Just sucks that they just didn't give a flyin' rip.  I let her know that next time, she'll play in KC, and she won't be disappointed.   8)

It just totally threw me for a loop at the lack of "givin' a crap" that they gave. 
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tallguy007kc

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Re: Newcomer's first PDGA experience gone wrong.....
« Reply #4 on: February 02, 2015, 03:27:09 PM »
I should also note, that the tournament itself was run really well as a whole.  There was just this hiccup, and pretty sure that they aren't even aware of it.
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Crispian

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Re: Newcomer's first PDGA experience gone wrong.....
« Reply #5 on: February 02, 2015, 05:10:42 PM »
Sunday is gonna be a nice day. Tell your lady to hop on down to swope for divas league at 1....me and Rhonda Crosby and Liz BB are all usually there and will do her right!
Crispian Lynn Paul PDGA #67456
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ekolk

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Re: Newcomer's first PDGA experience gone wrong.....
« Reply #6 on: February 02, 2015, 08:20:39 PM »
That sucks James. I know you were both so excited for this first tournament experience and then some d. bags ruin it. I can almost guarantee that wouldn't happen here, and I bet you'd agree. :) :) I have played in some out-of-town events and had some less than helpful folks on my card. Never to this extent, but when that happens, I don't return to that town or the event. Pretty simple. It leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Sorry to hear that bro.


BTW, this was so much better than any of Jack's rants  ;D

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Re: Newcomer's first PDGA experience gone wrong.....
« Reply #7 on: February 02, 2015, 10:02:18 PM »
sounds like it's all your fault tallguy, YOU got her into this, now YOU have to make up for the bad experience you caused. first flowers, then jewelry, and everything will be fixed by valentines day. keep apologizing and complimenting too.
espouse elucidation                                               Be excellent to each other

otter

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Re: Newcomer's first PDGA experience gone wrong.....
« Reply #8 on: February 02, 2015, 10:36:06 PM »
Caddy for her...ya big lug!   :P
Enshrine hallucinations...PULL!!

white mccoy

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Re: Newcomer's first PDGA experience gone wrong.....
« Reply #9 on: February 03, 2015, 07:32:09 AM »
Can't we just give Texas back to Mexico already?  What a shame.  These people need to be banned from tourneys all together.
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jack

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Re: Newcomer's first PDGA experience gone wrong.....
« Reply #10 on: February 03, 2015, 10:21:09 AM »
Can't we just give Texas back to Mexico already?  What a shame.  These people need to be banned from tourneys all together.

And people wonder why whenever they say they are going to texas I say I will give them $5 to build the wall.....
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Re: Newcomer's first PDGA experience gone wrong.....
« Reply #11 on: February 03, 2015, 11:06:49 AM »
Can't we just give Texas back to Mexico already?  What a shame.  These people need to be banned from tourneys all together.

And people wonder why whenever they say they are going to texas I say I will give them $5 to build the wall.....

At the Red River; not the Rio Grande!

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Re: Newcomer's first PDGA experience gone wrong.....
« Reply #12 on: February 03, 2015, 11:09:13 AM »
Can't we just give Texas back to Mexico already?  What a shame.  These people need to be banned from tourneys all together.

Paging Billy Nelson... paging Dave Hemmeline.....  Hmm... someone from Texas just registered for the forum. Perhaps this will get even more interesting.   8)
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tallguy007kc

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Re: Newcomer's first PDGA experience gone wrong.....
« Reply #13 on: February 03, 2015, 11:34:40 AM »
Good stuff from everyone here...lol  The going to the TD was my thinking after the fact, but, was a bit unsure at first, not knowing the full extent of what was happening at the time.  A few bad apples definitely make for a crappy experience for sure.  It's my second Texas tourney, and while they were fun, there is a VERY different feel to them.  Almost like, unless your name is McBeth, Wysocki, etc.., the "welcome feeling" is just weird.  Not saying it's everyone, as there are some folks there that I know that are just fine, but, man.....

I wonder if you spin a Pink Floyd album backwards, it actually tells you to "Build up the wall! Build up the wall!"  ;D
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Re: Newcomer's first PDGA experience gone wrong.....
« Reply #14 on: February 03, 2015, 12:23:21 PM »
James,

This was just brought to my attention today. To say the least it is very unfortunate, disappointing, concerning, and frustrating. While I hope for more ladies to play and compete in this sport, it is defeating to see this situation happen time and time again. I now know multiple women that will not play certain events just to avoid certain people. Bad experiences, pencil whipping, fighting, and disrespect are all at the top of the list in relation to similar circumstances. Some women even want to play in the men's division just to avoid the drama altogether.

These things HAVE to be brought to the attention of the TD. That is the only way to try and salvage somewhat of an acceptable first experience. Meaning that those first time individuals may not be completely, and utterly turned off from playing any event again if there are measures taken to help boost confidence and moral after such an awful felt first round. 

Obviously it was not brought up to us or we would have made sure to make changes where needed. I apologize that this happened. I know that it is not my fault directly, but it pains me to see someone have a bad experience ESPECIALLY in their first event. It will take some time to heal those scars for sure, but I hope that her tournament experience is not ruined forever. I will do a better job in the future of explaining why it is important to extend common courtesy and respect to all people you surround yourself with on and off of the course. We will take measures to make sure that we are doing everything possible to make sure this does not happen again. Thank you for posting this and keeping us in the loop James. Tell your fiancé that she can come to us with any issues and they will be addressed immediately.